Tip of the Week: Use RAIN for Difficult Emotions

What We Resist Persists

Anxiety, anger, frustration, sadness, loss, loneliness, inadequacy, rejection, hopelessness, disappointment...

Difficult emotions are normal. We all have them. In many ways, they’re the price of a meaningful life.

They can also be challenging and disruptive, running the range from unpleasant and inconvenient to overwhelming, painful, and debilitating.

It makes sense that our instinct is to push them away or try to ignore them. Unfortunately, this does not work.

When we suppress difficult emotions, they get stronger and last longer. Exactly what we don’t want. Renowned psychiatrist/author Viktor Frankl summed this up well: “What we resist persists - and grows in size”.

Paradoxically, the best way to let go of difficult emotions is to let them be there. Emotions are just information and energy patterns in our body. When we acknowledge and accept them, they can move on.

So much easier said than done... RAIN can help

Use RAIN for Difficult Emotions

Use the powerful, 4-step RAIN practice to accept and release difficult emotions:

1. Recognize. Notice what you’re feeling and name it if you can...“there’s sadness here” or “yep, this is anxiety”. Try to leave the “I am” part out of it.

2. Allow. Let the feeling be there. You can say to yourself “it’s ok to feel this” or “this belongs here too”.

3. Investigate. Find the emotion in your body. Where is it? Your face, throat, chest, stomach? What does it feel like? Pressure, tight, hot, tingly? Feeling the emotion as a pattern of energy helps metabolize it.

4. Nurture. Do something kind for yourself. Put your hand on your heart, take a walk, talk to a friend, snuggle your pet, listen to music, take a bath, be with nature.

Try RAIN next time you’re hijacked by a difficult emotion. With practice, RAIN can become a life-changing skill for managing emotions

Want to learn more?

Accepting Negative Emotions, Yale’s Science of Well-Being for Teens

The RAIN of Self-Compassion, Tara Brach.com

Feeling Anxious? A Quick Tool to Center Your Soul, NPR

Practicing the RAIN Meditation w/ Tara Brach, Mindful.org